no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
only you would photoshop your dick
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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