And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
