wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
