is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
