what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
