yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
