We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
