Your dad touched me again.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
