we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
