that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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