Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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