I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
