It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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