hotel room ftw
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
