Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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