and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
