Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
