she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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