allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
