i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
