My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
