I cockslap morals
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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