4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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