just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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