I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
