obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
