nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
