belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
