the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
