Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
