And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
