i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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