the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
