where am i from again
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
