Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
