I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
