Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize