You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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