that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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