Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize