let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
