what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
