And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
