Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
