you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
