Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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