I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
