there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
