My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize