Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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