She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
