We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
