All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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