Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize