Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
