He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
