So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
